The one about Community

I've lived in Alexandria for over 5 months and something I've really struggled for is community.

The truth is that a lot of it has been me and my unwillingness to commit to search community.

I wouldn't say that I've been saddened by it but i definitely miss the people and friends back home.

I miss coffee with Leah. Or netflix with Ross. Or volleyball with Erica. Or Sausages with Nicola. Or BCD with Jonathan. Or watching Fox News with Nick.

I began praying fervently for community.

And God, being a great God, answered my prayer. Truthfully I don't know that I've ever experienced God answer prayer as quickly and decisively in that moment since I first became a Christian. And then in His infinite wisdom, shut that door quickly.

Does it still hurt that he shut that door? A little bit. But for different reasons day to day. But I understand that the Lord shut the door because He loves me and He wanted to bless me in a radically different way than I expected.

So if you know me you know that deep down I'm a very shy person and that I carry a lot of baggage. And I've allowed that baggage to affect every subsequent relationship thus continually adding to that load. And now that I realize that I can't lift that baggage anymore, I need the Lord to carry me. I've always needed the Lord to carry me. Its just taken me this long to figure that out.

Would I have preferred that I didn't have a broken heart time after time to get there?

Absolutely.

But God knew that I would have never learned what I needed to know.

What I learned is that seeking after the Lord in search of community was backwards. God has shown me that. One of my big fears is that I make God a means to an end rather than the end itself.

I shouldn't seek after the Lord for community. I need to seek after community for the Lord.

And I really believe that's what God has done in my life. The door that he shut led to another path.

I joined what is turning out to be an awesome small group. I went to church today and actually had people to talk to after service. I wasn't an anonymous face that left quickly before the last song finished. I'm meeting tons of new people who's quirks make me smile because they are so different but so love the Lord.

What was supposed to be a long, hard work weekend turned out to be a refreshing time of community.

I'm learning everyday that God answers bold prayers. My prayers may seem small to some but God's answers have been BOLD and beyond my expectations.

I can go on and on and on about what God has been doing but if you really want to know just ask. Because I'd probably love talking to you about it, I miss you and a good conversation helps build community.