The one about Community

I've lived in Alexandria for over 5 months and something I've really struggled for is community.

The truth is that a lot of it has been me and my unwillingness to commit to search community.

I wouldn't say that I've been saddened by it but i definitely miss the people and friends back home.

I miss coffee with Leah. Or netflix with Ross. Or volleyball with Erica. Or Sausages with Nicola. Or BCD with Jonathan. Or watching Fox News with Nick.

I began praying fervently for community.

And God, being a great God, answered my prayer. Truthfully I don't know that I've ever experienced God answer prayer as quickly and decisively in that moment since I first became a Christian. And then in His infinite wisdom, shut that door quickly.

Does it still hurt that he shut that door? A little bit. But for different reasons day to day. But I understand that the Lord shut the door because He loves me and He wanted to bless me in a radically different way than I expected.

So if you know me you know that deep down I'm a very shy person and that I carry a lot of baggage. And I've allowed that baggage to affect every subsequent relationship thus continually adding to that load. And now that I realize that I can't lift that baggage anymore, I need the Lord to carry me. I've always needed the Lord to carry me. Its just taken me this long to figure that out.

Would I have preferred that I didn't have a broken heart time after time to get there?

Absolutely.

But God knew that I would have never learned what I needed to know.

What I learned is that seeking after the Lord in search of community was backwards. God has shown me that. One of my big fears is that I make God a means to an end rather than the end itself.

I shouldn't seek after the Lord for community. I need to seek after community for the Lord.

And I really believe that's what God has done in my life. The door that he shut led to another path.

I joined what is turning out to be an awesome small group. I went to church today and actually had people to talk to after service. I wasn't an anonymous face that left quickly before the last song finished. I'm meeting tons of new people who's quirks make me smile because they are so different but so love the Lord.

What was supposed to be a long, hard work weekend turned out to be a refreshing time of community.

I'm learning everyday that God answers bold prayers. My prayers may seem small to some but God's answers have been BOLD and beyond my expectations.

I can go on and on and on about what God has been doing but if you really want to know just ask. Because I'd probably love talking to you about it, I miss you and a good conversation helps build community.

#30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

So yesterday I noticed an intriguing trending topic on Twitter -  #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

It was a topic in my wheelhouse. So I started posting answers to the question and of course I numbered them. And I realized that every time I did, it made me smile because I couldn't wait to share those moments with someone. Some are based on memories, some are based on dream.

They're all based on who I am.

So below here are all 30 tweets just as they went out. Enjoy!

1. Tell her you think she's a princess #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

2. Give her flowers for no reason #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

3. Pray for her #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

4. Tell her you think she's amazing (and mean it) #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

5. Always think of her through the forgiving love of Christ and not her past #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

6. Be a friend when she needs you to be a friend #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

7. Bring her Chick-fil-a #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

8. I was going to say open a door for her. But that's too small. Open your heart. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

9. Be geniunely interested when she talks about nothing #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

10. Smile at her. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

11. Let her pay for parking. (Because you paid for dinner) #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

12. Buy her something small and stupid, just so she knows you were thinking about her #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

13. Hug her outside while it's snowing. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

14. Take her to see @timchaddick at @realityla. Always make me smile :) #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

15. take her to a baseball game and let her wear your hat. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

16. Blow off work to go see her. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

17. Be vunerable #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

18. Let her pick the radio station in the car. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

#19 make her a youtube playlist #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

#20 texts, calls, facebook messages are all great. But write her a hand written letter.
#30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

21. Let her win at Words with Friends #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

22. Cheer for her team in the Superbowl (even if you can't stand Tom Brady) #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

23. Enjoy the stew that she cooks for #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

24. Let her drive your car. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

25. Ask her to become Facebook official #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

26. Give her a custom ringtone in your phone. (But you'd have to tell her cause she'll never call when ur together)

27. Laugh at her jokes. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

28. Tell her she looks great when she thinks she doesn't but you think she does #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

29. Make your first kiss the last first kiss either of you ever have #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

30. Tell her you love her. #30WaysToMakeAGirlSmile

Major Social Media Announcement from @StaberzZ

This decision has not been made lightly and I have thought about it for several weeks now.

But a couple things have forced this issue.

A lot of people have noticed how sad my recent tweets have been.

I've been feeling really in the dumps recently and as I try to seek answers from God I often vent through twitter. It is the easiest way for my closest friends to know how I'm doing since I'm very much alone on the East Coast. Unfortunately, I'm not doing well.

I've also realized I wish I could tweet a lot more. I know that might sound crazy but I have a great job and I wish I could tweet about my job more. The problem is that I use my twitter for 3 purposes; to tweet about politics, tweet about God and tweet about my life. Well I never liked mixing those.

As a result I've decided to begin using my long held but never utilized twitter handle @MichaelEscoto.

I am going to keep @StaberzZ very active. In fact, probably even more active than before. but only tweeting about politics and work.

@MichaelEscoto is where I will tweet all my personal stuff, good or bad. It will contain all my personal thoughts, expressions and feelings as I try to live my life in a world I don't understand. At the same time praising God for His perfect will.

So depending on what you want to hear about, I'll let you decide which account you want to follow. Or follow both if you really love reading 140 characters at a time.

Enjoy and God Bless!

What Country Music can tell me about how I feel right now.

I don't know if I have the words to explain how I'm feeling. This was one of the best weeks I've had in a long time - personally, spiritually, emotionally. Then it became one of the hardest weekends I've had in a long time - personally, spiritually, emotionally.

As many of the people who will read this might have noticed, on Friday I listed my status as 'in a relationship' on facebook. Saturday, I changed it back to 'single.'

And as I continue to try to process what happened and pray about it, there are several important takeaways I've come to.

Many of them are contradictory and confusing, but that just falls in line with how I feel, a walking confusing contradiction. And as I put these thoughts together I realized that the music I was listening to really fit my mood. So rather than just write how i felt, I uploaded the music that describes how I felt.

Of course its all country music.

1. I'm going to remember this for a long time.

I'm the type who is very sentimental and unfortunately I'm going to think about this alot. For me I guess I'm going back to January.



2. It's God's will

And I can't stop God's will. And I will always praise Him for His will.



3. I failed as a spiritual leader

I tried to be faithful and keep Christ in the center. And no matter what is said, the responsibility falls on me. So I deserve this.


4. What i thought were God's blessings were actually his wrath

God works in mysterious ways and sometimes He gives you something just to take it away to make you look to Him more. I really felt God answered a prayer. But now I think he just answered a different prayer by punishing a sinner like me.



5. She's the best thing that ever happened to me.

She never believed me when I told how amazing and incredible she is.



6. The cover up is always worse than than the scandal

There wasn't a cover up or scandal. Its a political saying. The point is that what happened wasn't as bad as how I reacted. I reacted badly and have made things worse for me.



7. I didn't prepare my fields for rain.

This isn't a music video but I watched this movie when I feel uninspired. And this scene was the inspiration of this post. I prayed for rain, the rain came and I wasn't ready.



8. I'm meant to be alone

I don't remember exactly where I first heard this but a pastor once talked about the gift of 'singleness.' Maybe I should just accept that 'gift.'



9 . I'm going to have to fake it for a while

For everyone's sake I have to put a good face on. No matter how broken I am right now, I can't let that consume me as I have other priorities and goals.



10. It's not over

I prayed really hard to get to this point. And while God has shut this door, He can always open it. And I have to have faith and hope in that. But first I must continue to have faith and hope in Him.




11. I'm going to a meeting

My biggest fear is that when I get upset, I have the greatest urge to drink. And as a recovering alcoholic that's the last thing I need.



12. I'll always be there for her

The hardest part of this whole thing is that I was totally prepared; through prayer and faith, to just be friends. But once we weren't just friends, going back has been tremendously difficult. So no matter what, I need just need to be a good friend to her and i need even more prayer and faith to be able to do that.

Tim Tebow made me a viral video hit maker

After Tim Tebow and the Broncos beat the Pittsburgh Steelers last weekend in a shocker, I was up late and decided to make a funny video from a familiar Internet meme: Hitler reacts. Below is the result



It was put together quite quickly, within hours of the victory. And to be honest I made a couple mistakes. Kyle Prater? And I could have made a couple lines more witty.

But how can I judge? At the moment I am writing this, the video has been watched almost 400,000 times in 4 days! [UPDATE: its hit 400,000 views]

WOW!

A number of radio stations have posted it on their blogs like the Fox, 961kiss and Bleacher Report.

Well the question becomes what happens if Tebow beats the Patriots.

I've got to make another video, right?

But do I use the same clip or a different meme?

And I need new material.

So if you have a line to throw me, let me know and I'll make sure to credit you in the video.